Good morning Reader—

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And welcome to the twelfth issue of The FAM.

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One morning, I was walking alone in Denver. It was quiet—the kind of morning stillness that invites something deeper to come to the surface. And that morning, it did. I was hit with a question that so many people struggle with. I know I did.

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What am I searching for?

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I wasn’t asking myself what I should want. I wasn’t concerned with what others expected of me. But I reflected on what I, at my very core, was truly yearning for.

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That walk didn’t give me all the answers. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? But instead, it woke something up in me. It was the moment I was reminded to stop looking outside of myself for direction and to start looking inward. I was able to face something I’ve come to call my Vital Project.

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And the truth is, we all have a Vital Project. We’re all born with it. It’s not a choice we make. The only choice we have in the matter is this: Whether or not you will tend to it.

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Your Vital Project is the lifelong, moment-by-moment journey to becoming who you were meant to be. It’s made one choice at a time. And guess what? It not only starts with you, it’s all about you. There, I said it!

Building Your Foundation

That’s the part no one tells us. It’s quite literally the opposite of what we’re taught. We’re conditioned to start with everyone else—our team, our family, our company, our community. And of course those things matter. But there is no We without Me. You can’t lead well, love well, or serve well if you’ve neglected the very foundation you stand on—yourself.

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Please know, this is not selfish. It’s sacred.

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To declare that you are your most Vital Project is not a detour from service—it’s the only real path to it. Because when you know yourself, when you tend to your mind, body, spirit, and values, what flows out of you is not a conditioned response, but life itself. You don’t have to manufacture impact. You become the kind of person whose very way of being creates it.

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This is the clarity we need. Not more noise. Not another list of goals. Just a quiet, grounded return to the truth: you are the most important project of your life.

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Tending to your Vital Project is the very foundation of being able to love, lead, and serve others well.

Without considering any external pressures… what is one thing you really want?

Spanish philosopher José Ortega y Gasset shares something that sheds a whole lot of light on this idea of your Vital Project.

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He said that human life isn’t something we’re handed in finished form… your life is a “personal narrative”. A story that never ends. A perpetual project. That means your life isn’t random or meaningless. It already has a shape. And you are its author.

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Life is something we must make, moment by moment, decision by decision. Every morning when you open your eyes, life asks you: What will you do with today?

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But with the chaos life brings us, we can lose track of the story we’re writing. Or worse, live by someone else’s script entirely.

What Happy People Have in Common

Your Vital Project might start with philosophical roots… but this concept is also backed by modern-day science.

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In psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book, The How of Happiness, she quotes an Australian psychiatrist: “If you observe a really happy man, you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, growing dahlias, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi Desert.”

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In other words, happy people have projects—not because they’re productive, but because they’re engaged with something that matters to them. The project itself doesn’t have to be big or noble. It just has to be theirs.

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That’s what makes the Vital Project different from everything else on your plate. It’s not a task. It’s not an outcome. It’s your becoming. We’re all born with the responsibility of becoming our best selves. And unlike building a boat or planting a garden, this project can never be taken from you, and it never truly ends. It’s your birthright—and your responsibility.

The Deeper Truth of Your Vital Project

This work cannot be outsourced. No one can do your becoming for you. And no amount of applause, title, or respect from others can replace the quiet satisfaction of knowing that your life is aligned on the inside. That’s why the Vital Project must be driven by intrinsic motivation—by the steady, internal pull of your own values, your own vision, your own voice.

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And when you start from that place—not ego, but essence—you don’t become smaller. You become stronger. You don’t retreat from others. You show up more fully for them. The paradox of clarity is this: by beginning with you, you ultimately become more able to serve the people and causes you care about most.

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So let’s not begin with the overwhelming question, Will it all matter in the end? That will only leave you spinning.

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Instead, begin with the braver, quieter question: What am I searching for? That question doesn’t demand a perfect answer. It just invites you to—as I like to say—“work on yourself as if your life depends on it. Because it does.” It invites you to listen closely. To take one honest step toward rediscovering and becoming who you were born to be.

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Because you are your Vital Project.

This week, a friend of mine shared something raw and honest after undergoing open-heart surgery. Two valves repaired. A long recovery ahead. And in the middle of it all—lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by machines and strangers—they found themselves reflecting on what truly mattered.

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They described it like this: when you’re dependent on a machine to breathe for you, when someone else is literally stopping and restarting your heart, a kind of clarity emerges.

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In that sterile, motionless space, questions began to surface.

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• Have I used my time the way I want to?
• Are my actions really aligned with what I value?
• What might version 2.0 of my life look like?

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They weren’t questions about achievement. They were questions about alignment. About how life had been lived up to that point—and how it might be lived differently moving forward.

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That, to me, is the essence of the Vital Project. It’s not about chasing a reinvention. It’s about listening. Pausing long enough to ask: What have I been building? And does it still reflect who I am or who I want to become?

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We don’t have to wait for crisis to ask those questions. We can choose to ask them now—before the system breaks down. And when we do, we begin to live by design. Not from external pressure, but from internal clarity.

Most of us are managing dozens of “projects” at once—at work, at home, in our communities. But how often do we stop to ask: Which of these projects are truly mine? And more importantly, which of them are actually helping me become who I’m meant to be? ​ This simple reflection tool is designed to help you step back, map the projects that fill your days, and reawaken to the one that matters most—yourself. Download this tool to see where your focus is and awaken to the project that matters most, your Vital Project.

DOWNLOAD FREE TOOL

This past week, I was revisiting something that’s been a steady current in my own Vital Project—the practice of tending to myself not as an escape from responsibility, but as the foundation for it.

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Here’s what I wrote in my journal on 7/14/25:

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I am here to serve myself which serves the mission of serving others.

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This is pretty radical in today’s conditioned world, where we’re taught to subordinate ourselves to the mission or to others. But my point of view, my moral stance, is this: You must serve yourself first.

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You have a sacred duty to take care of yourself—mind, body, and spirit—before anything else. Otherwise, you cannot serve a greater cause or truly serve others.

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To serve each:

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Mind
​ • Quiet
• Solitude
• Reflection
• Learning
• Studying
• More

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Body
​ • Rest
• Sleep
• Nutrition
• Exercise
• Movement
• More

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Spirit
​ • Meaningful work
• Work within my unique ability
• True to self
• Spirituality
• Connections
• Optimism
• Hope
• Love of self
• Contribution
• More

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This isn’t about indulgence. It’s about integrity. It’s about anchoring your service to others in the clarity and care of your own becoming. That’s the Vital Project. And it’s worth everything.
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You are your Vital Project—honoring that is one giant step towards living fully alive.

P.S. What’s one small way you could honor your Vital Project this week? I’d love to hear what surfaced for you—just hit reply and share. And if someone in your life has been pouring out without pouring back in, forward this their way. Sometimes, all it takes is a reminder: you are the most important project of your life.

We’re on a mission to empower one million people to live Fully Alive, and you’re one of them!