Good morning Reader,

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Welcome to the 33rd issue of The FAM.

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The decision to quit drinking came to me on a quiet Saturday morning of September 7, 2024. I woke up early before the sun and watched the day come to life over the lake in our backyard.  I then saw a post from Apple Fitness+ trainer Jamie-Ray – his tatted-up body on full display as his wife, and friends partied late into the night in Ibiza. Then he shared: “I’m excited to share with you why I decided to stop drinking & what helped me to stay motivated.”

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At that moment, I felt a subtle shift inside me. My inner voice was shaking me awake telling me that continuing down my path of loving double IPAs would mean denying myself the chance of living a life fully and authentically. This was the beginning of my journey to sobriety. Now, 500 days are passing on Tuesday, marking nearly a year and a half of my life without alcohol. This represents just 1.37% of the life I plan to live until I am 100.

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I smile as I type that.  Because big things can happen for you, in a relatively short amount of time. We sometimes forget that, don’t we?

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I do plan, and have become so damn committed to living a happy, fulfilling, productive, and fully alive life to the age of 100.  I imagine myself mentally, physically, and spiritually fit and strong, living youthfully, always learning, exploring, and creating – engaging fully in life. Of course, I have no idea what the Gods have in store for me, but I do know that I am all in on this journey.

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It’s fun, exciting, energizing, and empowering all at once.

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As these 500 days approached, I reflected on a core question: What have these 500 sober days taught me that could change your life? This bold inquiry set the stage for uncovering the powerful lessons that have emerged from my journey.

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As I reflected, eight truths – lessons emerged as the core of my transformation. Each lesson comes with practical takeaways and suggestions for action or reflection, which I hope will be a gift to you.

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Let’s jump in Reader:

One – What Is Hard Becomes Easy When You Act From Identity

For a long time, when I wanted to stop drinking, I kept drinking. It wasn’t until I created a new identity for myself that my desired behaviors took root. Each morning, I remind myself that I am decades younger than my biological age with years and years of a beautiful, fulfilling, impactful, and wonder-filled life ahead of me. It is with this identity shift that my behaviors changed. Changed to match this identity I created for myself. Resolutions, gym memberships, and even goal setting suggest we start with behaviors.  I find that behaviors fade as soon as difficulty enters the picture unless they support you in becoming who you yearn to be.

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How about you? Have you wanted to change some behavior, but stopped almost as soon as you started? Start with identity. Know who you want to become and start acting like that person.

Two – Doing What’s Right Doesn’t Make Everything Right

Despite best efforts and doing what’s right for yourself, the world continues to move forward at an unprecedented pace, throwing uncertainty, complexity, challenges, and hardships in your path. You could make plans to protect your investments, only to be caught off guard by a sudden market downturn. Perhaps you find your day disrupted by a child’s unexpected outburst just as you’re preparing for an important meeting.

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These uncontrollable events underscore the reality that there is no single elixir that will make all our troubles go away, all our dreams a reality, nor deliver world peace. But we can control what we can control. We can control who we are, how we show up, the mindset we bring to every day, and the energy we bring into what will always be a world in chaos. So, when life’s storms hit, I remind myself: Control the controllable.

Three – Choose Your Hard, Or It Chooses You

The art of becoming who you are capable of becoming is not easy. In fact, we might say it’s downright hard. When you act out of identity, you, by default, choose a path of resistance. A path of struggle. A path that will take you out of your comfort zone. You’ll need to change your behaviors. Change how and what you think. Change how and where you spend your time. And most likely, change who you spend your time with.

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You quite literally have a Choice of Hercules in front of you – Vice or Virtue. The choice is yours. You can choose to stack the hard of putting in the work, or the choice to stack the hard of regret, self-betrayal, and disappointment in yourself. Regret leaves a bitter aftertaste no IPA can wash away. So, let’s pause to ask, “What’s the hard your future self wants you to choose today?” Take a moment to reflect on this, inviting your future self to guide your present choices.

Four – DECIDE! Life Is A Series Of Choices

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, who just recently passed, once said, “If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. I know a lot of people who wish … Few of these wishful people have decided to have what they wished for. It’s a key difference, for once you decide, you take action.”

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Decide who you want to be.  Then decide on the virtues and behaviors that will lead you to that person.  This is more than wishful thinking, as Adams said. It’s more than wanting something.  It is an “all in” cutting off all other options decision.  And here is the hard part – these decisions are made countless times each day – moment to moment.  You decide and then act thousands of times a day, with each micro-decision either moving you closer to or further away from your potential and your best self. For instance, when a cold one tempts you, consider the tiny habit of choosing to reach for sparkling water instead. This micro-decision, small as it seems, transforms the abstract concept of thousands of choices into tangible actions that shape our lives.

Let’s Pause For A Moment

Here is a quick one-click poll. Please let me know which of these first four lessons you are most interested in, so I can dive deeper into it in the coming weeks. Simply select the lesson you’d love to explore further, making it effortless for you to participate in the conversation.

Five – Prioritize Yourself

Start with me” is not a platitude. People won’t understand. But damn it, it is your life literally and figuratively. The world wants you to follow the herd, to subordinate yourself to everyone and everything else. And when you do that, out of obligation, conditioning, or to fit in, you drain every last ounce of energy from yourself. You have no energy left, making it easy to regress to what’s easy and convenient. If you are going to do what’s right and what’s hard, you have to prioritize yourself.

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Serving yourself first fuels serving others better. Let the paradox of self take over as you ripple into the world as a gracious, giving, positive force.

Six – Solitude Is A Force Multiplier

In the whirl of the world, it is easy to get sucked into the stream of the world.  To simply react and follow the rhythm of others.  Solitude – carving out time for yourself – to reconnect with yourself and your future self grounds you in a way that gives you strength, energy, and courage to tackle the day head-on.  

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You don’t need to journal for 30 minutes a day, or walk through the woods for an hour each morning (although those would be amazing). You might just find five minutes each morning before you get the kids up and lock yourself away.  This is your time to lock out the world to go within (don’t worry, I promise your kids, spouse, aging parent, co-worker will be just fine and waiting for you). Try this five-minute solitude starter: Close your eyes, breathe deeply for ten counts, and ask, ‘How do I want to show up today?’ It’s in these moments of inner dialogue that you find yourself, reward yourself, strengthen yourself, and, most importantly, love yourself.

Seven – Connect With Other Like-Minded

Relationships with others on a similar path are beautiful. Willpower is personal. Sustainability is not. Doing hard things alone is possible, but doing them well and consistently rarely is. When you surround yourself with people who are choosing depth over dabbling, discipline over excuses, and truth over comfort, something changes.

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You stop explaining yourself. You stop negotiating with your standards. You borrow courage on the days yours feels thin, and you return the favor when others need it. This isn’t about motivation or accountability charts. It’s about being in the presence of people who quietly remind you of who you are trying to become.

Eight – Begin

You almost never “feel like it.” There is a spirit of gravity that is always in play to keep you at rest, where you are, and where you are comfortable. Begin. Once you start doing what you know you should be doing, the resistance fades quickly, and you find yourself in a new moment. A moment of action and a moment of forward progress. Double IPA, or read – just pick up the book. Double IPA or workout, just lace up the shoes.

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Begin. Begin. Begin.

And One More Pause

Here’s a second quick one-click poll. Please let me know which of these last four lessons you are most interested in, so I can dive deeper into it in the coming weeks.

500 Days In And We Are Just Getting Started

As you read this, I’m most likely back where it started – Celsius in hand, overlooking the frozen lake behind our house. Same view. Same quiet. But a very different man.

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This morning I’m journaling again. Reflecting. Wondering what the next 500 days might hold. Not in terms of goals or outcomes, but in terms of this quest of becoming the best version of myself and in creating this movement to empower one million people to rise.

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Because that’s what this has always been about.

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And I want to say thank you for being here. For being on this journey with me. And for doing your own work, in your own way, to rise from just getting by… to something more fully alive.

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Maybe one of these eight lessons stirred something in you. Maybe they opened a door, even just a crack.

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I hope so.

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Because if a single Instagram post from a guy in Ibiza could help me change my life… then maybe this newsletter is your moment.

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Maybe this is your quiet Saturday morning.

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Maybe this is your moment to decide to begin, begin, begin!

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We are, after all, just getting started Reader!

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Here’s to your next 500 days.

PS: What’s your favorite lesson from above? Please do reply and let me know. I read and respond to every response and would be honored to hear from you Reader.

We’re on a mission to empower one million people to live Fully Alive, and you’re one of them!