You Don’t Need Your Why Yet

Good morning Reader—

And welcome to the 28th issue of The FAM.

What is it about a new year that compels us to reinvent ourselves? It’s tangible in an intangible way—the flipping of the calendar. You can see the year pass or arrive. The past fades; the future beckons.

We witness this in nature all the time: the snake shedding its skin, the butterfly emerging from its cocoon, the shift from spring to summer, night to day. This transition, this becoming, is everywhere. It’s natural. It’s real. And yet, while becoming is omnipresent, for you and me the clarity of change – and most importantly, the clarity of possibility and potential- becomes sharpest at this time of year.

As we literally and figuratively flip the calendar from 2025 to 2026, something shifts. Our heads, not to mention our hearts, swivel. We look backward at what’s passing while gazing forward at what’s possible.

We sense that what has passed is more than time.

Years ago, when I worked with sales departments in the radio industry, we talked about their inventory of 30- and 60-second spots. If a spot wasn’t sold and the time aired empty, that inventory was gone forever. It could never be reclaimed. It was crucial to account for every moment.

And it seems to me, at this time of year, as our heads and hearts swivel to the past, we feel the weight of that inventory of time. The time in our past that we’ve either seized or let slip into eternity unused.

At the same time our heads and hearts swivel forward with hope and belief that 2026 will brim with moments where we fully account for the limited time the year provides.

So now is a perfect time to go a little deeper.

Who Are We To Become

You know, the snake doesn’t hope to shed its skin – it sheds. The caterpillar doesn’t hope to become a butterfly – it emerges. Light doesn’t hope to shine from darkness – it shines. And yet, you and I, as we ready to step into the new year, carry the hopes of years gone by on our shoulders, declaring: “This year, 2026, will be my best ever.”

The hope is strong. Real. And fragile.

While the snake, caterpillar, and darkness need no hope to become what they’re capable of, we conscious beings grapple with hope’s fragility as our heads and hearts swivel to the future.

We can’t help but yearn for something more, even if we can’t yet name it. We conjure a kernel of belief that what’s coming will be better, fuller, richer, more meaningful and brimming with seized moments and fewer regrets.

And yet, when our hearts swivel forward, our heads too often halt us with reminders of reality.

First, these reminders are deeply personal: regrets, misses, unaccomplished dreams, the far-from-perfect life rushes in with vengeance. Finger pointed at our own hearts. Then, mercilessly, the world’s realities pile on. No wonder 88% of people who set New Year’s resolutions abandon them by mid-January. It’s easier to stay protected in your current skin, huddle in your known cocoon, and get by in the darkness.

As time’s inventory pass us by.

Who Before Why

What the snake, caterpillar, night, and day have over us is that their becoming is a “simple,” natural next step. As the new season of change approaches, it’s their instinctive occurrence. Abraham Maslow told us that what we can become, we must become. And yet, unlike these examples, you and I must consciously decide to shed our skin, consciously decide to step from our cocoon, and consciously decide to enter the light of who we must become.

Not so “simple.”

The snake, caterpillar, and light don’t ask why. They don’t ponder greater purpose. It’s as if their instincts know that questioning would impede becoming.

We on the other hand are conditioned to believe we must have and articulate our “why.”

Simon Sinek built an empire on the mantra: Start with why. Friedrich Nietzsche reminds us that with a strong enough why, we can endure any how. From religions, ethics classes, and company mission statements to my own We Supply America tour, we’re implored to be part of something bigger—to be, as I’ve said for years, a force for good.

I believe in all this; grounding in purpose and meaning is essential. And yet, paradoxically, it often surfaces prematurely.

From the outset, we feel pressure to know our purpose, our why, and confidently declare our contribution to something greater. There’s irony here: these less-evolved species become what they’re meant to without addressing why. They simply become.

Maybe, just maybe, the natural path is to become who you’re meant to be and worry about why, purpose, and meaning later.

I’m drawn to lessons from British philosopher Alan Watts and mythologist Joseph Campbell. Watts tells us: You are the meaning. Campbell echoes this, suggesting we’re asking the wrong question when we seek meaning—we are it. All of which crystallizes a thought that hit me weeks ago while walking a forest preserve near home:

Who must come before why.

And, following Sinek’s model, who must also precede how and what.

Are you putting Why before Who?

The Work Of Who

As we approach this new inventory of time, flipping from 2025 to 2026 in weeks, let’s for the time being, skip traditional resolutions, goals, or visions. First, heed Socrates: Know thyself. Know deeply who you are and who you’re to become. Who is Dirk as he sheds the past’s skin and steps into his next best version? Who is Dirk as he emerges from the comfort that’s restricting his potential? Who is Dirk courageously stepping into possibility’s light?

This is the Dirk I not only want to know—it’s the Dirk I need to become, the one I fiercely commit to becoming.

And so, the work of who begins.

Science shows identity – who – drives behavior. So if we want to lose weight, start writing, get a new job, deepen relationships, run a marathon, or whatever our 2026 goals, the assured path is knowing who we must become to realize them. The work isn’t in the outcome, it’s in knowing who to become, then living virtuously as that person, true to your commitment.

Easier said than done, which is why I’m excited about The FAM bringing like-minded people together on January 1, who are ready to commit to their future best selves in 2026.

Roger Bannister saw himself as a four-minute miler before he ran one. Carrie Underwood saw herself as a singer before becoming America’s Idol and country’s top-selling female artist. Adela, whom I met on the We Supply America tour, saw herself as a forklift operator when the world said she couldn’t. David saw himself as Goliath’s slayer before slaying Goliath.

So, who are you to become?

Today, as you read this 28th issue of The FAM, 18 days remain in 2025. This year’s inventory is expiring. The good news: In 19 days, we get a fresh inventory of time to become who we’re meant to be.

What a gift this life is giving us.

It’s up to you and me to let our heads and hearts pivot: Reflect on the past, take every lesson, release the rest. It’s gone, literally and figuratively. Shed that skin.

Now turn to the future. Not too distant, but forward. Use these 18 days in the cocoon of what is, preparing head and heart to step from warmth into the light of what will be.

And as you do, the question is: Who is the you stepping into 2026’s light?

Who are you to become?

Your Invited – January 1

If this question—Who am I to become?—is stirring something in you, I invite you to spend time with us on January 1st. We’re gathering as The FAM to pause, reflect, and begin again. Together.

If you’re yearning for a calm moment of truth and direction—to begin 2026 feeling more like yourself again—this free experience is for you.

The time you protect to join us may be the most meaningful gift you give yourself this holiday season.

This week’s resource is intentionally simple—and deeply powerful. Who Are You to Become? is a quiet journaling space designed to help you step out of striving and back into listening. Not to outside expectations or goals, but to the inner voice that already knows who you are and who you’re becoming.

This isn’t about answers or resolutions. It’s about attention, honesty, and allowing what’s been stirring beneath the surface to finally speak.

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As I was reflecting on this question—Who am I to become?—I found myself returning to something I wrote earlier this year after a conversation with Adrian, an Uber driver who shared his story of sobriety with me.

Adrian told me he had landed in the hospital with pancreatic issues after drinking nearly half a bottle of vodka every day after work. While he was there, a young doctor looked at him and said, “If you don’t change your lifestyle, you’re going to put my two young sons through college.” That moment woke Adrian up. He’s been sober ever since.

Here is what I wrote in my journal:

Intention Before Purpose

Should we focus on being intentional versus purpose? It seems that the need to feel a deeper calling – a deeper life/world changing purpose is heavy for many of us who feel as if we are just getting by. Let’s take that pressure off of us. Let’s get intentional! Let’s live the self-empowered life first and now! And worry about world changing purpose later.

So, Maybe we don’t start with purpose. Maybe we start with intention.

Adrian didn’t need to save the world. He needed to stop numbing his own life. He needed to shed the old skin that kept him asleep. He had to step out of the cocoon—the temporary warmth the vodka provided—and into the light of who he wanted to become.

I smile when I think of him. His awakening didn’t give him a mission statement. It gave him back time. Presence. Agency. A self-empowered life.

He didn’t follow the noise.
He listened inward.

And in doing so, he began to live—fully alive.

Dirk Beveridge

Dirk Beveridge

Dirk Beveridge

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