Good morning Reader—

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And welcome to the tenth issue of The FAM.

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Do you ever feel like you’re stuck going through the motions—checking the boxes, doing what’s expected—while quietly dreaming of more?

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More energy. More clarity. More of the life that feels just an arm’s reach away… but somehow keeps getting pushed off until tomorrow. Tomorrow, when I’m feeling better. Tomorrow, when things calm down.

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A member of The FAM put it perfectly:

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“I’m making sure the boxes are checked, while dreaming of the ‘more’ that is just an arm’s reach away… the ‘more’ that keeps getting put off until tomorrow.”

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I’ve lived that tension too. There were things I wanted to change. Visions of the man I wanted to become. And for years, those changes sat out on the horizon—intriguing, calling to me… but always just out of reach.

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Until they weren’t.

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Today marks Day 337 without a drink for me. And Day 21 of 75 Hard—a challenge I’d admired for years, but always postponed.

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Two decisions I made—not from pressure and not to punish myself—but because I stopped trying to earn momentum… and started to embody it.

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And I’ll be honest: Over the years I’ve thought about the possibilities of going alcohol free. Tried to “get serious” again about health—returning to my younger Ironman days. Tried to re-find that next level of momentum. But something’s different this time.

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I stopped asking, “How do I get unstuck?” And started asking a far more powerful question: Who do I want to be?

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That question changed everything.

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Because once I saw who I truly wanted to become, I could finally say: This is who I am. So this is what I must do.

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Let me say that again: This is who I am. So this is what I must do.

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I found clarity in choosing the man I wanted to be, on purpose.

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I’ve come to see myself through three identities:

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• Divine Spartan: Physically and mentally strong, built for challenge, ready to endure and overcome.
• Divine Creative Force: Someone who creates meaningful, authentic content that empowers a million people.
• Divine Hugger: The man who never misses a moment to see, feel, and honor the humanity in others.

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And once I decided those three identities are aligned with who I want to be, the changes became obvious. The drinking had to go. The fitness had to rise.

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The way I carried myself in small, everyday moments had to shift—because I wasn’t just trying to act better… I was choosing to be better.

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This momentum didn’t come from pressure or discipline. It came from integrity. In aligning my actions and mindset with those three identities. That’s not hustle. That’s alignment. I stopped trying to force momentum from the outside… and started aligning with who I really want to be on the inside.

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For years, I bought into the same story most of us are sold: if you want to change your life, you need to grind harder. Fix your mindset. Tighten up your willpower. But if hustle and discipline was all it took, most of us would already be living as our best selves. We’d all stick with our resolutions. We’d all hit our goals. Discipline isn’t the answer for getting unstuck, though it does play an important role.

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I know I’m not the only one who’s felt stuck… I wasn’t stuck because I wasn’t trying. I was stuck because I was checking boxes. Going through the motions. Doing what was expected… instead of what was true.

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Until one day, I asked that different question: Who do I want to be?

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And just like that, the path started to clear. Not all at once—but moment by moment, decision by decision. That’s the shift I want to explore with you today.

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Because the truth is: Your life is waiting for you.

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Not some distant version of it. Not after the next big promotion or perfect morning routine. Right now. In this very moment. And it doesn’t take more discipline, more hours at work, more grinding.

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The question is—will you meet it?

Who do you want to be? And what would change if you lived as if you already were that person?

Maybe you’ve been in motion—showing up, working hard, carrying the weight. Yet, still somehow feeling stuck. That doesn’t mean you’re lazy, not trying hard enough, or lack discipline. Motion isn’t the same as momentum.

And if you’re honest, you might admit what I had to: I was moving… but not moving toward the potential I knew I could become.

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For years, I thought what I needed was more discipline. More hustle. A better mindset. That’s what we’re constantly told, right?

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But those things, as powerful as they sound, are often just outer armor. They can’t carry you through the inner battles—those quiet moments when you’re not sure who you are anymore, or whether the life you’ve built still fits. The moments where the exhaustion creeps in, or when life responsibilities pull your focus away from your goals.

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What I’ve come to believe is this: Momentum doesn’t begin with effort. It begins with identity.

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This is a call to slow down for a moment and ask yourself:
​Who do I want to be?

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Not someday. Not when life settles down. Today.

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Because when you get clear on that—on who you are and what that version of you stands for—your choices shift. Not out of obligation or guilt. But out of a deeper, sacred responsibility to yourself.

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And, here is the cool thing, this is where everything starts to change—when you stop waiting to feel ready… and start choosing to live as if.

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This idea didn’t come from a self-help book or a motivational reel. It came from a conversation with my philosopher-coach, who introduced me to the concept from the 18th-century German thinker, Immanuel Kant.

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Kant believed we should live as if the most meaningful things—freedom, virtue, purpose—were already true, even if we couldn’t prove them. In other words:

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Live as if your choices matter. As if you’re free. As if your actions shape the world.

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And this simple thought has moved me in unexpected ways.

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What if I lived as if I already was the man I wanted to become? Not just trying to get there someday—but waking up and acting like it was already true. What if I acted today as a Divine Spartan? Well, the choice of whether or not to have a double IPA becomes easy.

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What if I acted as a Divine Creative Force? Not waiting until I felt confident. Or had more energy. Or finally had my life “together.” Just choosing—moment by moment—to live in alignment with that vision of me.

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That simple shift changed everything.

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It moved me out of self-doubt and into belief. It turned my daily habits from chores into choices that honored my future self. It gave me the clarity to say: If this is who I am… then this is what I must do.

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Not from pressure. From purpose.

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And when you start making decisions, shaping your thoughts, and living moment after moment in alignment with who you want to become, those decisions compound into something meaningful that push you forward on your journey to meeting that potential we all feel the pull towards.

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And the beautiful part? You don’t have to earn the right to live as if. You just have to decide, and start with one single moment. Then add another. And another.

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And that’s what momentum really is. It’s not a dramatic leap or a motivational high. Just a single moment of meaning… followed by another… and another.

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In fact, when you look at the word momentum, you’ll see it’s built right in:

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Moment → the present point in time
​-um → a force of movement

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Momentum is movement born from meaning. It’s your future self whispering: This is a moment. What will you do with it?

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Because each moment isn’t just time on a clock—it’s a threshold. A chance to step closer to the person you’re becoming… or drift further away. This is how we move forward. Not all at once—but through a series of honest, aligned choices that become a way of living.

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A way of living, As If.

Diane, a personal friend and fellow seeker, recently shared a reflection that made me say, “Wow! Good for her!”.

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For years, she had been running hard—like so many of us—assuming that if she just pushed through a little longer, she’d finally feel some ease. She’d carved out a few days alone while her husband was away on a fishing trip. Time to recharge, she thought. Time to finally rest.

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But on the second night, she found herself back at the computer, again, working late into the night. When she finally crawled into bed, exhausted, a quiet truth surfaced:

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“If my brain was a pie chart, 80% would be work. The rest… family and friends. Even when I had the space, I didn’t change what I paid attention to. Work still consumed me.”

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And then, something shifted. She made a decision to reclaim the momentum she was craving. One that would allow her more balance, more time with her family, and more freedom to truly embrace her own identity—she decided to give notice to the job that was no longer in alignment with who she wanted to be.

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Because that’s how momentum begins—not with a perfect plan, but with a moment of clarity. A moment when you start choosing to move forward in alignment with who you want to be.

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Diane chose to live as if her time, energy, and life belonged to her again. She didn’t wait for permission. She decided. That’s momentum. And it’s available to all of us.

When you feel stuck, it’s tempting to wait. For motivation to strike. For clarity to come. For life to slow down long enough to catch your breath. ​ But momentum doesn’t come from waiting. It comes from aligning. This week’s tool invites you to pause, reconnect with who you’re becoming, and take one small, honest step forward. Use it to act as if you are already the version of yourself you long to become. ​ Let today’s decision be a quiet declaration: I’m becoming who I want to be.

DOWNLOAD FREE TOOL

When I think about momentum—what it really is, and where it comes from—I come back to this line I once wrote in my journal, quoting Seneca:

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“How much better to pursue a straight course and eventually reach that destination where the things that are pleasing and honorable, are finally becoming the same.”

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That line stops me every time. Because let’s be honest… doing the right thing, the thing that helps you become the best version of yourself, doesn’t always feel good in the moment. And it’s typically not the easiest option.

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Sometimes the ‘honorable path’ feels inconvenient, even uncomfortable. And that’s when the temptation creeps in: May I have another double IPA, please?

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But Seneca reminds us that there’s a deeper kind of reward. When we stay the course, when we act as if we are already that better version of ourselves, something shifts. Over time, the struggle becomes less of a fight… and more of a flow.

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What once felt like a sacrifice begins to feel satisfying. What was once hard becomes who you are.

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That’s momentum, too.

P.S. If something in this message landed for you—if it sparked a pause, a breath, a moment of clarity—I’d love to hear about it. Just hit reply and let me know what’s stirring. And if you know someone else who might need this kind of encouragement right now, feel free to forward this along. That’s how the FAM grows: one real conversation at a time.

We’re on a mission to empower one million people to live Fully Alive, and you’re one of them!